Dear 14 year old self

An Idea I've been toying around with for a while but lacked the inspiration for until now: an open letter to freshman year me.

Dear 14 year old me-

The interesting thing about the internet is that I can go back and see everything you did on the computer, like pictures on facebook and chats between people, wall posts, comments...everything. So I don't think I'll ever really forget what you are going through but I was still shocked enough at what I saw to want to write to you. I can't say that I'd want to be friends with you, but I remember the heartbreak and frustration and I commend you for managing it the best you could.

You may think that I will want to vilify you because you are at silly and impulsive but I am not going to do that. You are younger than I am now so that it understandable, you have a lot to learn. I also am not going to tell you anything because I think all the mistakes that you will make are a central part to why you become the person you are. All the fights, the petty jealousies, the frustration you feel, while sucky, will really make you a better person in the end, and I'm not trying to be cliche.

I know your hopes and dreams and I know what you are afraid of, what you are deeply and truly afraid of. I will tell you right now that everything you're wishing for is within your grasp if only you will find the courage to fight for it. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for and you can make everything happen for yourself. One day you will get into your dream school and you will find lots of wonderful people there, whom I hope you will stay friends with well after graduation.  There is a lot of uncertainty in your life and I know that that frightens you and I don't think that will ever really change. You will shoot for the stars and you will fail but I commend you for even trying. You will feel a lot of anger and anguish and no amount of time could ever trivialize that. I hope you realize what wonderful outlets you have at your disposal.

I am also proud of you, 14 year old me. Regardless of what age you are, and yes I have stalked you at different significant moments of your life, you always seem to have friends that you can count on to catch you when you fall and you will cherish them. Just because you don't always stay in touch with them doesn't mean their friendship is less significant. They will give you the strength you need to face your problems and fight them into submission. Never lose them.

Lastly, I remind you to try and stick around. There will be many points in the next few years where you question whether or not it is worth it and I assure you it is. No matter how bad things get, you will find a way to not only survive, but to thrive. I have total confidence in you.

Love,
Your 18 going on 19 self

PS: You don't gain weight like I do. I suggest you eat more while you still can.