Time Capsule Post!

I watched the video that Laci Green uploaded earlier this month in which she reveals to us the time capsule video that she made for herself in 2009, her present-day reaction to it and a new time capsule video to be viewed in 2019.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to write a blog post to myself in 2009 but I have the next best thing...Facebook! So let's delve into a bit of recent history:

I don't remember what I was doing just that I thought I was cool

Allow me to set the stage a bit. 2009 Tiffany (as of March 2009-when Laci posted her video), was 15.5 years old. She lived in Hopkinton, MA and was pretty obsessed with getting into college. And not just any college of course, but a prestigious one with lots of academic and adorkable guys (ha). For some reason she thought it was appropriate to treat Facebook the way that 2014 Tiffany treats Twitter; that is to say she had no filter. She thought was really witty and edgy. 2009 Tiffany had just learned that she had to leave her hometown though which was devastating for her. She thought she had just found her niche in school. She had just wrapped her head around the idea that maybe being a doctor wasn't such a bad dream afterall. Sure, not as glam as being a fashion designer like she always wanted but she had a real shot at being good at it. During that academic year she had become really close to this one girl who she had kind of always known but been way too intimidated to get close to. But she had started talking to this girl and they became really close friends. 2009 Tiffany had been a swimmer for basically her entire life but she really started coming out of her shell and thought she had made some really good friends on the team. Following a tough break up she had found solace in being with her teammates and her coaches. And of course, don't forget about the boys. I think she was technically dating someone at the time but it had either just ended or was about to end. There were a couple of guys that she liked in her year but there was also a senior who seemed a little bit interested too. So there was that. In March, 2009 Tiffany thought she had finally gotten herself settled and established a firm base that she was willing to jump off from and really excel. But she never got to because she had to leave shortly after that.

It's a little odd to be doing something like this because even though I obviously have some distance from 2009 Tiffany (it is 5 years afterall), I still remember her vividly. I remember how she felt about things and it's kind of odd to be coming back to her years later with the perspective that I have. Going through the Facebook posts is every bit as cringe-inducing as you might imagine it. I can't even vilify myself because....I just think I was young. There are so many 'firsts' that 2009 Tiffany hadn't even experienced yet and she was already pretty jaded. Retrospectively, I think it kind of makes sense that the guys I liked didn't like me back because they probably thought I was as flighty as 2014 me thinks 2009 me was.

I have to wonder what 2009 me would think of 2014 me. She would probably be happy that I'm at Wellesley, though I don't think she would realize how difficult that road was. She would probably be disappointed that I haven't made my way to France with my best friend yet. (Said best friend actually has been to Paris, I just couldn't follow her.) She would probably be happy that I'm still swimming because going to the pool provides her immeasurable comfort. She would probably be disappointed that I neither have a boyfriend nor am hooking up with tons of cute Harvard guys. She's probably wondering why I haven't gotten myself to Tokyo yet (2014 Tiffany wonders the same thing). She probably wonders how I forgave the people in my life who it seemed had wronged me so terribly. She also probably wonders how I could have lost touch with the people that she was so close with and would probably tell me that I should text them ASAP to fix that-now that she has unlimited texting!

It's also funny because all through high school, I used to keep thinking of those days as me being in my athletic and mental prime. Spring 2009 was me at my best, or so I thought. Looking at it from now though, Facebook doesn't allow for such nostalgia-I can see exactly how silly I probably seemed to other older people at the time. But it didn't seem silly to me in the least. 2009 Tiffany felt everything so intensely and that's something I think I kind of have to admire her for. I wish I had her absolute confidence in herself that she could make anything happen for her. The world was her oyster. Which is not to say that the world doesn't still hold wonder/mystery/promise for me, I just think she had more trust in the Universe making sure that everything worked out okay.

The more that I think about this, the more that I actually still have in common with that girl. She wanted attention from boys (that hasn't really changed all that much), felt awkward around some of then (also hasn't changed much) but was most importantly at a crossroads in her life. She had to move on from something stable and good and happy and just plunge herself into the unknown. She hated it but she gave it her all nonetheless. She came off a rough romantic and academic place and I'm much in the same position now. Even though she ended up in a place that she probably would be happy with, it probably doesn't feel like she thought it would. It probably didn't happen quite the way she wanted.
Somehow I feel like history is going to repeat itself again. But I feel like the more important part of this is to just keep going, keep trying until you get what you want.

She did it once and she can do it again.

Spring Update-2 Years of Writing and other things

Spring is on its way to Wellesley!

I can hardly believe that it's Spring break already and this is my first post of the "new" semester!

I am not entirely sure why but I feel like the Spring semester always catches me a bit off guard every year. Even though it's snowing and disgusting for what seems like forever in the beginning of the semester, come March it starts to get beautiful and then it feels like we have about one week to savor the weather before it's time to take exams and leave for the summer.

Not to mention actually doing work! This semester has been a really busy one for me so just making sure that I sleep and have clothes on when I leave my room has been a bit of a struggle. It's been hard enough to notice what's going on around me without sitting down and writing about it.

But we have (thankfully) reached Spring break which means that I finally have a bit of time to catch up on writing a bit! There is a lot that I have meant to write about like various TV shows (How I Met Your Mother, Sherlock, Glee), the books I've been reading, and of course some current events.

And of course, earlier this month my blog turned 2 years old! Yay! I think that also merits a post as well.

As you can see there are lots of things currently waiting in my queue but I'm looking forward to working through them in the next week!

Bises,
t