Ruhlman Reflections

Let's be honest, I did it for the name tag.

(Author's note: This is a brain dump. It will likely not be eloquent because I'm not really going to edit it).

Last Wednesday, I took another item off of my Wellesley bucket list by presenting at the Ruhlman Conference.

Similar to the Tanner Conference, held in the Fall, Ruhlman focuses on student work from the school year. A couple groups from my American Studies class(AMST 151: The Asian American Experience) decided to form a panel entitled "Cultural Crossroads: Redefining the Asian American Experience" where we would present our term projects. Mine dealt with the way that Asian women were portrayed in mainstream media. I might put up my powerpoint up for download later if you really want it :P

I didn't really have an expectations of how this conference was going to work but everyone had the day off from classes. I presented in Pendleton West at 9:30 in the morning. Considering how I slept through Ruhlman last year my friends(about 10 of them) are actually the best for coming and supporting me. It reminded me that I wasn't really alone and despite how it felt 24 hours prior to that moment, there were people here who cared about me and wanted to support me.

 I had been nervous that I wasn't going to get through my presentation despite the fact that I knew the presentation inside and out. Communicating orally is definitely harder than communicating through words. It's so much easier to go back an edit written words until you're satisfied but when you give a presentation or interview, you need to right the first time. Funny, after years and years of performing on stage, this is still something that scares me a bit haha.

I got an excuse to be an uber-Wendy that day

When I was giving the presentation though, I felt really in control of the situation and I think it flowed well. Looking back, I think I really needed something to go well and make me feel like I knew what I was doing in an otherwise awful week so I was really glad that it did.  It was bizarre presenting in the social sciences when so much of my work has been concentrated in STEM subjects("hard sciences") lately but I definitely don't regret the decision. The presentation had so much relevance to my actual life. The pressures to be perfect, to have it all and make it seem absolutely effortless. I think that's why I first picked this topic because it resonated with me so much and I hope it resonated with the audience as well. To present about how Asian females were at such elevated risk of suicide and mental illness helped put things into perspective a little bit. I think it helped me remember a little bit that stressing about the standards that I've set for myself is actually really harmful, and that it just simply isn't worth it.

And then I went and had a baller sail at MIT so...winning? 

I don't know what to say.

The starting line in Hopkinton, MA(4/15/2013)

I'm sitting in my room in Tower Court. I can hear the Macklemore concert in the background but I couldn't bring myself to go and watch the show. Why? Because something terrible has happened in the city of Boston today.

Today, our hearts broke when we heard the news of what happened. Today, I watched the city of Boston burn, I watched people flee in terror and I saw blood splatter the sidewalks that  I've walked many times before.


My time in Hopkinton isn't something that has come up a lot(if at all on this blog or at my time here at Wellesley). It simply wasn't relevant until now. But I'd like to share a few things about my fair little hometown.

Hopkinton, MA is the starting line of the Boston Marathon. It is a sleepy little town that people only hear about regularly because of the marathon. It's one of the few events that the entire town can really get behind wholeheartedly as a community. Hillers(as Hopkinton-dwellers are called) will no doubt remember that the marathon is kind of integral to our identity. Today, I think every single member of my HHS class(that I'm still facebook friends with anyways) had an extremely visceral reaction to the events because I think we all have really fond memories of the marathon. I saw status updates from people in California, Delaware, Michigan...basically everywhere. It was like everyone who had lived in Hopkinton for most of their lives(like yours truly), just had this immediate, knee-jerky, gut wrenching reaction to the news-no matter where you were, no matter how long ago you left the town. It was just so gosh darn personal. Who doesn't remember all the Kenyan runners coming to visit the schools, running through the dry ice, just so that we could talk to them as 2nd and 3rd graders? Or that different clubs would wake up at the crack of dawn to fundraise by selling Krispy Kremes on the lawn in front of the gazebo on the Town Common/Center School? Quite frankly, I don't think that any town cared as much about the Marathon as we did; it's just a fact. It was a much bigger part of our culture than it was in other towns and I loved that. The Marathon represented a lot of things for us, I think. April vacation, the beginning of Spring or what have you, I think we can all agree that it was a pretty hopeful time of year.

I will never get this image out of my head.

But today, someone put all of that in jeopardy. The footage was rolling endlessly on all of the news stations and everytime I saw it, I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut. I think regardless of personality, people who live in and around Boston love the city irrevocably and with complete abandon. Nobody ever thinks that something like this will happen to their hometown but I think that I can speak for all of us when I say that watching the city burn was one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever had and I was only watching it on TV, recognizing streets that I walked down before. Watching it made me absolutely sick to my stomach that something like that would happen. It didn't seem real and for the first while after the news came in, I didn't believe it. When the said the president had been briefed that this may be a terrorist act, I wondered "Why? This can't be real, it couldn't possibly have been real." I have lived in Boston my entire life and this has never happened and frankly, I never thought it could. I can not imagine what it would have been like to be there; I assume it was jarring beyond compare.

A few of my best friends were there at the finish line today and I am so thankful that they are safe and sound. I can't help but thinking that not everyone was so fortunate. What happened today was truly awful. And I know that someone who reads this will no doubt say "well this type of thing happens everyday in some places" to which I respond "But not Boston. Never Boston." It's supposed to be some kind of safe haven; I mean, I guess we annoy people by being awesome at sports but we've never really done anything malicious that should justify this.

Christ, what have I written? I guess I'm just shocked and confused and sad and I don't really know how a day that started off so jovial could end in such tragedy. As of right now, 3 people died and around 200 are injured severely. I know that the numbers will only grow, in spite of our world class hospitals. Without a doubt, my thoughts will be with those who were at the finish line, I hope you return home safely wherever home is.

Tiff's Wellesley Bucket List

Upon entering our fair college, all Wellesley students are given the following list of activities to achieve. This seems as good a time as any to re-evaluate the trajectory of my Wellesley experience. So without further ado....

50 Things to Do Before You Graduate

1. Run naked across Severance Green.
1. This has not happened yet and actually I highly doubt it will ever happen.
2. Get 12 hours of sleep in one night.
1. This has happened...just not during the school year. 
3. Go stepsinging.
1. Accomplished: First year Convocation, word. 
4. See the campus from the top of Galen Stone Tower.
1. Actually, I really want to do this still so yes let's keep this on the list. 
5. Walk around Lake Waban with a friend.
1. Done. Next?
6. Have a party in your room for no reason and invite everyone you know.
1. I'm actually kind of scared someone will call Po on me so this will probs not happen. Also, I live in a closet. 
7. Skinny-dip in Lake Waban.
1. I have gotten in Waban for sailing purposes...does that count?
8. Read a book that isn't required and that doesn't have anything to do with your major.
1. This happens a lot so I think we're all set. 
9. Pull a non-academic all-nighter.
1. Did this accomplishing number 8; next. 
10. Go traying on Severance Green.
1. HAS NOT HAPPENED YET AND I AM DISAPPOINTED. 
11. Write a letter to the editor.
1. Haven't found something I cared about enough to put in the effort to really make it great. 
12. Attend one sporting event for each Wellesley athletic team .
1. ...well I went to a swim meet once?
13. Admit you don't know everything.
1. I thought that was obvious.
14. Have a little too much to drink at a department party and start a singalong with your favorite professor.
1. Haven't yet but the science lipsync for some people....
15. Eat nachos at the Hoop.
1. Also haven't yet...maybe I will. I don't really like nachos though.
16. Get a Little Sister.
1. I probably will next year. Being a little sister to several people though...we're kind of needy.
17. Eat in all the dining halls in one day.
1. hahahahahaha this was achieved like a long time ago. 
18. Send an e-mail to someone who is sitting in the same room.
1. GChat is a thing but I'm sure this could be a thing too.
19. Buy candy in El Table to eat during class.
1. Actually haven't been in El Table...that should probably change. 
20. Let a prospective sleep on your floor.
1. I will once I move out of the closet.
21. Become the ultimate fan of at least one Wellesley sports team.
1. ...swimming? Or sailing :P
22. Stay for Wintersession.
1. Let's not.
23. Be the subject of a psychology experiment.
1. Accomplished during during my first year  Fall.
24. Nominate a professor for the Pinanski Prize.
1. Again, haven't had someone absolutely change my life but when I do I will definitely do this
25. Swing next to the Chapel.*
1. This doesn't exist anymore. I wonder what we should replace it with?
26. Attend Senate. Say something.
1. I feel like I'd be too scared to.
27. Go tunneling.
1. Also hasn't happened yet but I want it to.
28. Try dorm or class crew on the lake.
1. mm haven't yet but I've kayaked and sailed?
29. Visit the observatory.
1. I've walked past it?
30. Become a regular at CVS.
1. Again, accomplished a while ago. Next.
31. Go to a Shakespeare Society production.
1. I want to so badly!
32. Go ice skating on Paramecium Pond.
1. Not sure if it ever gets frozen enough.
33. Declare your own personal Lake Day.
1. I...actually have no idea if this will ever come true. 
34. Go trick or treating at the president's house.
1. Done last fall.
35. Nap in the library.
1. Teehee.
36. Start a dorm war.
1. ???
37. Stage a protest.
1. I really don't have anything to protest at the moment.
38. Join an organization.
1. Seriously? Why is this on the list? 
39. Go to a frat party.
1. Rather not. 
40. Write a paper in 13-point New York.
1. I feel like this reference went way over my head.
41. Learn to fake a Boston accent.
1. Um...
42. Attend an on-campus party.
1. Done.
43. Voluntarily attend a lecture.
1. Does going for sushi count?
44. Take a day off and be a tourist in Boston.
1. Done! (kind of)
45. Primal scream.
1. This is past my bedtime.
46. Cheer at the Boston Marathon. See if you can get a runner to kiss you.
1. Well we'll see how tomorrow goes though I don't relish getting kissed by strangers.
47. Go to a commencement other than your own.
1. Planning on going this year
48. See at least one a capella concert.
1. Hosted the Tupelos, next?
49. Listen to WZLY.
1. DONE.
50. Ride in a Campus Po Car. (Lights and siren are a bonus.)
1. DONE.