Ruhlman Reflections

Let's be honest, I did it for the name tag.

(Author's note: This is a brain dump. It will likely not be eloquent because I'm not really going to edit it).

Last Wednesday, I took another item off of my Wellesley bucket list by presenting at the Ruhlman Conference.

Similar to the Tanner Conference, held in the Fall, Ruhlman focuses on student work from the school year. A couple groups from my American Studies class(AMST 151: The Asian American Experience) decided to form a panel entitled "Cultural Crossroads: Redefining the Asian American Experience" where we would present our term projects. Mine dealt with the way that Asian women were portrayed in mainstream media. I might put up my powerpoint up for download later if you really want it :P

I didn't really have an expectations of how this conference was going to work but everyone had the day off from classes. I presented in Pendleton West at 9:30 in the morning. Considering how I slept through Ruhlman last year my friends(about 10 of them) are actually the best for coming and supporting me. It reminded me that I wasn't really alone and despite how it felt 24 hours prior to that moment, there were people here who cared about me and wanted to support me.

 I had been nervous that I wasn't going to get through my presentation despite the fact that I knew the presentation inside and out. Communicating orally is definitely harder than communicating through words. It's so much easier to go back an edit written words until you're satisfied but when you give a presentation or interview, you need to right the first time. Funny, after years and years of performing on stage, this is still something that scares me a bit haha.

I got an excuse to be an uber-Wendy that day

When I was giving the presentation though, I felt really in control of the situation and I think it flowed well. Looking back, I think I really needed something to go well and make me feel like I knew what I was doing in an otherwise awful week so I was really glad that it did.  It was bizarre presenting in the social sciences when so much of my work has been concentrated in STEM subjects("hard sciences") lately but I definitely don't regret the decision. The presentation had so much relevance to my actual life. The pressures to be perfect, to have it all and make it seem absolutely effortless. I think that's why I first picked this topic because it resonated with me so much and I hope it resonated with the audience as well. To present about how Asian females were at such elevated risk of suicide and mental illness helped put things into perspective a little bit. I think it helped me remember a little bit that stressing about the standards that I've set for myself is actually really harmful, and that it just simply isn't worth it.

And then I went and had a baller sail at MIT so...winning?