I have never really believed that the new calendar year necessarily meant a blank slate and a fresh start, since in this regard things like the beginnings of semesters seem more meaningful. But it is a very convenient time to look back, take stock of the year and be grateful for the passing of time.
2014 got off to a very tumultuous start and it hasn't really slowed down much since then. It's been a whirlwind year full of weddings and tests and lots of other things.
But despite all of the crazy, it has also been a year where I have known an overwhelming amount of love and support from those around me. I didn't participate in Facebook's annual "Year in Review" because for the first time since I can remember, my most meaningful moments happened offline and there are no electronic records. As a millennial who spent(is spending) most of her formative years on the internet and connected to her phone, that is kind of a big deal. Also, as someone who likes playing with words, the mostly visual interface wasn't really the best way to approach this task.
When I look back at my year, the memories that stick out the most are conversations. They were times when I was just really honest with someone and they reciprocated. These conversations happened in very common places-buses, hallways, meals that I hadn't even intended on leaving my room for. It might sound silly but I think that for a long time, I couldn't even get out of my head enough to even make those possible-not to mention that they make you feel really vulnerable, which is a very uncomfortable feeling. So it's a small change but a really important one for me.
Compared this time last year, I think a lot calmer than I was-though now that I think about it, I don't know that there is any really good cause for it. In 2013, 2014 was a huge beastly unknown. Despite 2015 also being somewhat of an unknown, I don't quite feel as frantic as I did then. I think this past year has shown me that no amount of worrying about and wishing for things will cause any meaningful change in the course of events. There's no way to eliminate those feelings (nor should we, because they're valid), but they don't need to be all-consuming.
As it looks right now, 2015 looks like a pretty big year as well. I don't really believe in huge overhauls just because we're flipping the page of the calendar but hopefully I can write here once a week, among several other small goals. Funnily enough though, I am no longer afraid of the fact that I am leaving Wellesley this year.
Onwards and upwards to the next big adventure, lovelies.
No comments:
Post a Comment